This pandemic has taught me many things: how to properly order a pizza, how to ration toilet paper, pacing myself through binge watching shows on netflix...
But I'd have to say the most valuable lesson the pandemic taught me is how to embrace my inner loser.
I was depressed before the pandemic. But once that shut down started it was my time to shine.
I have always been a homebody. I love to cook a meal and stay in. And I absolutely LOVE late night gaming.
What better time to get schooled in a game than another continent's time zone? I learned a lot about losing late at night.
I learned how to lose with grace. I learned how to laugh at failure. But most importantly I learned that being a loser is a built in defense and security system.
Now that the pandemic has calmed down (no one has officially said it was over) the statistics are starting to come out.
Apparently domestic violence and child abuse rates skyrocketed during the shut down.
Welp, that is to be expected, It is a lot easier to like someone when you only see them 10 hours out of an entire day, if that. Not to make light of domestic violence. Trust me, I know how serious it is.
But it made me appreciate two things:
1. Being single.
-It occurred to me later that I missed one of the most epic open hook up periods of this century. No one was outside. So if you wanted to creep you could with the least amount of chance of being seen.
-Also I didn't have to worry about someone hanging around all day going broke and becoming frustrated and therefore wooping my ass. I could game all night in utter peace. I could drink myself
retarded and no one was around to judge me. If I felt lonely I'd hook up with the crew online and kill stuff.
2. Having no children.
-This usually makes me sad. even though I have made conscious choices in the past to give up a chance at motherhood. I'm not happy about making those choices but I am glad I did. Considering the previous reason would still apply if I did have children, the level of stress, economic hardship and frustration may have made me less of a mother.
To me these two things are my inner loser. I lost out on the opportunity to be a mother or wife, or baby mama. But in light of recent events of women and children being murdered by family members I think differently now.
I don't have to worry about some fool seeing me as a financial liability or stressor. I don't have to worry about some thief seeing me as a target. I had no assets, no life insurance (at the time).
I think about some of the "power couples" out there that spent over a decade eating each others' shit to build an empire to watch it being threatened, diminished, or destroyed by two fiscal quarters of social distancing and lay offs. I wonder how many of them secretly eyed each other and saw dollars signs like the cartoon characters would see each other as food stuck in a cabin during winter.
Some of these "power couples" are worth 2-4 million dollars dead. IJS.
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